My Soul Mate A Fight For Love
by Scripters Secret
Summary: This is a 'HollyFiction' based around JohnPaul McQueen and Craig Dean, and Craig coming to terms with his sexuality and feelings for his best mate. R&R Please :


**My Soul Mate: The Fight for Love**

**McDean HollyFiction.**

**Chapter 1**

_Incompatible…_

_It don't matter though_

_Cos someone's bound to hear my cry_

_Speak out if you do_

_You're not easy to find_

John-Paul lay in his bed, thinking about events, while listening to the radio, the song was speaking out to him, in more ways than one, the words made such sense, but yet they were construed in many ways.

Craig Dean, now there's a name he didn't want to think about, let alone see again after what had happened back in February of 2007. The images of Craig going crazy and beating seven pulps out of him still haunted John-Paul's mind. Craig tried to make amends with his pathetic excuse of an apology two days later to the event, John-Paul had simply replied "I thought you were better than them, mates? Yeah…right!" and he simply walked away, walked right out of Craig's life, and left him standing in the middle of the village, looking devastated.

Now three months later, John-Paul was beginning to move on with his life, Craig was well and truly out of his mind, or was he? He had met a special someone Spike Jameson, he had met Spike from Jacqui's sham of a wedding at the wedding reception where Spike had been doing the DJ-ing, and they instantly hit it off.

_Is it possible? Mr Loveable_

_Is already in my life_

_Right in front of me_

_Or maybe you're in disguise_

"Maybe he is in disguise…" John-Paul thought through. "But no, I'm moving on, I have too, Spike's in my life, and for once I'm truly happy…aren't I?" John-Paul sat up from his bed, trying to make sense of his situation, why had things turned out so wrong with Craig, all he did was fall in love with him, but then he had found hope in the form of Spike.

_Who doesn't long for someone to hold?_

_Who knows how to love you without being told?_

_Somebody tell me why I'm on my own._

_If there's a soul mate for everyone_

He threw himself back down on his bed, John-Paul was beginning to question this apparent song, it was playing on his mind…

Over at The Dog in the Pond, up in the flat, away from all the punters, away from prying eyes, sat one guy in his bedroom, listening to the radio, to the exact same station, the same song, for this had been his plan…

_Here we are again…_

_Circles never end…_

_How do I find the perfect fit?_

_There's enough for everyone…_

_But I'm still waiting in line…_

The song made tears fall from Craig's eyes, for this was the song that made him feel like there was something missing, something that he couldn't quite grasp at yet, Sarah was everything to him, but there was something…somehow missing from his life.

_Who doesn't long for someone to hold?_

_Who knows how to love you without being told?_

_Somebody tell me why I'm on my own_

_If there's a soul mate for everyone…_

_If there's a soul mate...for everyone…_

He sat there on his bed, taking all the words in, the words had so much meaning, that's why he had picked it, someone out there must know what these words meant, the song carried on, and Craig continued to listen…

_Most relationships seem so transitory _

_There all good but not the permanent ones_

_Who doesn't long for someone to hold?_

_Who knows how to love you without being told? _

_Oh someone tell me why I'm on my own_

_If there's a soul mate…for everyone_

The song came to an end, and the radio presenter's voice came on slowly, John-Paul was laying on his bed still, the song spoke to him, in more ways than one, and presumed it meant his liking for Spike. "That was a song for a very special person, and he wants this person to know that he's very sorry for all that he's done, that was from a…um…Mr McDean" the presenter spoke clearly, immediately grabbing John-Paul's attention, "Mr McDean…" John-Paul thought "nah, surely not? Why would he? Unless he wants to give us a go as mates again…but that seemed a bit intimate…right?" he mused over, but shrugged away his thoughts from the vibrating tune of his phone, it was Spike, John-Paul grinned.

Back over at The Dog, Craig was smiling to himself, "surely he has clicked on that I want to be mates again, right? But it was a bit of an intimate song" Craig mused over, but shrugged off his thoughts as well, Craig lay back down, and drifted into a light sleep…

**Chapter 2**

Craig awoke feeling a little startled; he's fallen asleep after his song had played on the radio that he had picked to attempt to win John-Paul back. He looked towards his phone, "no messages, no nothing…"Craig said to himself picking the phone up, "not even from Sarah…well I suppose there's a first time for everything". Craig fell backwards onto his bed, he wasn't up for doing anything, or going anywhere, he had no get up and go.

John-Paul was out in the village taking a walk to Drive 'n Buy, Myra had run out of the essentials, bread and milk, so John-Paul was sent packing to get some, even if the prices were shockingly high, John-Paul didn't want to make a one hour walk to the super market just for two items.

As he was walking he bumped into Sarah and Hannah coming out of Drive 'n Buy itself, John-Paul himself was feeling particularly happy, he had found a new friend, in the form of Spike, and was beginning to feel there was a spark there, and seeing Sarah and Hannah, somehow made him feel happier…

"What's all this then?" John-Paul asked jokingly, looking at the massive bag of sweets that Hannah was carrying, "time of the month is it?" he carried on. Hannah took a tone of mocked shocked, "John-Paul?!" she said playfully hitting him the side. "Hello!" John-Paul said chirp fully with a big grin, Sarah jumped in this time, "Hiya" with an equally big smile. Hannah's face dropped, John-Paul couldn't think why, "Anyway, I'm allowed to talk about periods and that" John-Paul said cheekily.

Hannah became sarcastic, "Why's that because you're gay?!", but this didn't go un-phased by John-Paul, "No, because I've been filling up hot water bottles before I could even crawl" he said in his usual cheeky way, but meaning no offence. Hannah wanted to change the subject, she didn't like how John-Paul could be so open with her, even so now that they weren't back together.

"So where you off too then?" Hannah said with a usually forced smile, "Oh, just going in there actually, me mum's run out of some stuff" John-Paul said motioning towards the shop, "Oh and…well…" he stopped mid-sentence, feeling flustered and undecided whether or not to tell his Ex-girlfriend that he had met someone, "go on, what you gonna say?" Hannah pushed him, "Well I'm kinda meeting someone later…" John-Paul whimpered out, unsure of what Hannah's reaction would be, "Spike?..." Hannah said quietly, John-Paul simply nodded.

Sarah's phone began to ring, and she stumbled to find it in her bag, John-Paul carried on, mustering up his courage, "It's our first…proper…date" he said with a smile, Sarah found her phone and went to answer it, "Craig?!" she shouted, obviously something had gone off, or hadn't gone off, John-Paul thought, "Well I better be off, mum will be wondering where I've got too, tell Sarah bye, and I'll see ya later" John-Paul said making his way for the shop door. "Yeah…see you later" Hannah said, walking quite fast away trying to catch up with Sarah.

Over at The Dog, Craig was on the phone to Sarah, "I'm sorry alright…I just don't want to go out at the minute…I'm not feeling well Sarah … yeah course I'm telling the truth why wouldn't I? ... What? ... Later? ... Well I don't know … But John-Paul will be doing his set there won't he? … He won't want me hanging round will he … he hates me as it is … and I don't blame him … well alright … I'll come out with you … yes I'm sure! See you later …. Love you too" and to those final words Craig put the phone down. He was going to try to make amends tonight; it was his one shot chance, his last chance to make things work.

Craig threw his phone on the floor, and went to lie back down on his bed, "I suppose I'll have to make an effort to go, I hope he'll talk to me" Craig thought silently, "can't stand not being his mate". Craig got up, and made his way to the bathroom, "well shower time, and don't want to smell like drunken homeless people do me?" He pulled the switch on wall to bring the shower on, and turned it to full, the room soon filled with hot steam, and to this Craig stripped off, and stepped into the heat of the falling water…

**Chapter 3**

Craig had had his shower, and indeed felt better for it, he felt as if his head had been cleared. He looked in the mirror and gave himself a cheeky grin, "tonight's the night Mr. Dean, your going to win a certain person back" Craig said to himself applying gel to his hair, he wanted to make a good impression, but not to show too much of an effort, but just enough. He was feeling good, he would have John-Paul back come the end of the night, and that's what counted.

John-Paul, Hannah and Sarah were sat on the bottom floor of The Loft nightclub, John-Paul was sat in the middle and the either girls sat at the sides of him. Hannah was under the weather, she'd heard Spike's name mentioned more times than she could stand, and though John-Paul was gay, she couldn't help but be self-centred and jealous at the fact John-Paul was moving on with his life, and indeed very almost had a boyfriend.

"Hannah, what IS up with you tonight? You look like you've had your back side smacked a dozen times, did Matty dump you?" Sarah said in a sarcastic tone, but playfully all the same, she knew about Hannah's 'imaginary boyfriend' and that she was making a fool of herself in front of John-Paul. "No, Sarah! It's just well…you know" Hannah said quietly trying not to get any attention.

"Oh come off it, I know you're not very fond of a certain someone, and it isn't me is it?!" John-Paul said loudly, causing Hannah to freeze with shock, John-Paul wasn't stupid, Hannah had been trying to ward off Spike with every trick in the book, and it had seemed to work, Spike had laid off John-Paul, but that was only because he'd had enough of Hannah, she was like the sister he never EVER wanted. "I can't believe you Hannah, for once I was happy! And you went and ruined it all, don't you want me happy?!" John-Paul said with force in his voice, "Well I'm sorry John-Paul! But I can't help how I feel!" Hannah spat back, "How you feel?! God Hannah, I really liked him! And I thought he liked me too, that was until you came along! Just stay out of my love life, alright!" John-Paul said getting up and heading to the bar.

Hannah stood up, and shouted over to John-Paul, and he spun round, "That's exactly what I'm going to do!" she shouted running off up the stairs "Well done, that helped!" Sarah shouted coming over to him, "listen John-Paul I'm sorry about her, but you know what she's like with all this, she'll come round eventually, properly I mean, just give her time" Sarah reasoned, "I know, but she's got to let herself and me move on, she went and ruined my first date with the first guy" John-Paul said making his way back to his seat, "It'll get easier, just be patient" Sarah said, patting John-Paul's hand.

Craig came down the stairs of The Loft, he saw his girlfriend, and his ex-best mate, "No Hannah? I wonder where she is?" Craig thought to himself, he came here tonight to win back John-Paul, but Sonny had towed along, that was going to make things a little bit difficult. Why had Sonny become his mate? He was a good for nothing low life.

Craig walked up to Sarah who was sat next to John-Paul, "Alright babe" Sarah said cheerfully, receiving a quick kiss from Craig, and John-Paul looked the other way, he didn't want to talk to Craig, neither speak to him. Nor see him kiss Sarah. "Alright gay boy! Nice hair Sarah!" Sonny butted in, bringing Sarah and John-Paul to their senses, "Sonny…um thought he'd tag along" Craig mustered out, "well he could have asked first!" Sarah said spitefully, "Or not come at all" John-Paul said sarcastically, "Sonny! Bar…let's go the bar…get a drink…you two want anything" Craig said, motioning Sonny away to the bar, and trying to break the ice with John-Paul, Sarah and John-Paul nodded dismissively.

Sonny and Craig were stood at the bar, "Look at him, with your woman, makes me sick how he gets all the attention yet he's a fully fledged poofter, I think you should sort him again mate!" Sonny said with a snigger, "Doesn't bother me, maybe he's in touch with his feminine side and that's what women like isn't it" Craig reasoned getting the drinks from the bar man and paying for them. "So you're OK with this? You're alright with your bird talking to that…that.." Sonny spat, trying to get his words out, but Craig stopped him mid-sentence, "What? Poofter? Is that what you're going to say?! Why don't you just leave him alone, he's just the same as me and you, except he likes blokes not girls" Craig shouted, causing Sarah and John-Paul to turn round seeing that Craig was shouting at Sonny, "So what you're like him?!" Sonny shouted, "it's better being a homophobic bully, you're an arrogant pig Sonny!" Craig shouted pushing Sonny causing his drink to spill onto his shirt, "Thanks a lot Dean! You ain't hanging round with me again!" Sonny ran out screaming, to which Craig laughed at, "I don't want to!" Craig laughed loudly, then his attention was brought back to where his girlfriend was sat, she had a big grin on her face, and John-Paul had certainly gone red from embarrassment, but he was also secretly pleased that Craig had gone to the lengths he had to defend him, pity he hadn't done that three months prior.

Craig came back over the table, "Wow Craig! I am impressed, you showed him, didn't he John-Paul eh?" Sarah beamed with joy, "Um…yeah…whatever…I'm gonna go, need to get back" John-Paul stood up to leave, Craig grabbed his arm, "please don't…can we…talk?" Craig asked softly, looking sincere. "I don't know…I don't want another fighting contesting…alright…but it better be good" John-Paul smiled, thinking this might be a good idea, and he sat down. "Look…mate, I'm sorry, and I mean it, for everything…" Craig stated softly, "What? Your sorry for beating seven shades out of me are you? Or the fact you never stood by me when you said, no, you promised you would?" "You gave as good as you got! Listen if you won't hear me out, then I'm not going to bother…"Craig said getting annoyed that after all these months the wounds still hadn't healed.

"I'm sorry John-Paul, I don't care what people say anymore, I even defended you to Sonny didn't I?" Craig said , stating the obvious, this is what made John-Paul reconsider taking him back, the fact Craig had finally stuck up for him, it was a start. "Well it's a start I guess, so yeah…apology accepted" John-Paul smiled "But anything like this happens again, and your life won't be worth living" he said seriously, "I promise…mate" Craig smiled, trying to not look excited at the fact he had his mate back, Sarah sat there grinning, and stood up, and stood in between both John-Paul and Craig, she gave Craig a quick kiss and whispered, "Thank you babe", then she turned to John-Paul "Back to normal again, thanks John Paul". Everything was beginning to return to normality…Was it…?

**Chapter 4-A**

It was now Friday, Friday the 13th. Darren, Steph and Craig were all in The Dog flat, Darren was preparing for the ill-fated DJ showdown that was due to be shown that evening, and he hadn't even put the posters up advertising the event, much to Craig's amusement, organisation was never Darren's plus point. "Why you looking so glum for? Had another fall out with your boyfriend already? Or is the fact your so morbid is because you've become the queer boys mate again?" Darren mocked in his cocky manner that always amused himself, but very often not many others around him.

"Anyway, will you put these up for me? Steph forgot!" Darren grinned, wanting to provoke a reaction out of his step-sister, it wasn't working, Steph was in her own world, as usual, the world of Stephanie De La Dean was fully occupied. "Yeah sure, I'll get John-Paul to come, he can show 'our' new DJ a thing or two eh?" Craig said in a smart manner, "Well alright, but I don't want you two fighting again, you drive the punters away as it is Mr Smugly!" Darren joked.

"Ah I've had enough of you're nice attitude Darren, I'm going out" Craig snapped, grabbing the posters, and walking out of the flat, down the stairs, and out of the front of the pub. Craig looked at his watch, "Well I suppose I could go see John-Paul, and ask him about this competition" Craig thought to himself.

John-Paul meanwhile, was over at the McQueen household, he felt a bit out of shape, and what better way to pass the time than to work out. He started with press-ups, then squats, then sit-ups. He heard someone chap the front door, presumed it was someone for someone else in the house, John-Paul carried on.

Jacqui opened the front door, and what did she find? "What are YOU doing here?!" she spat in disgust at seeing Craig Dean, "Get lost Dean John-Paul doesn't want to…" Jacqui stopped in mid-sentence at Craig's interruption, "Jacqui…it's alright, I mean that me and John-Paul have made up, and I'm really sorry that I hurt him, and I just wanted to pop round to see him is all" Craig smiled nervously. "I had you for a minute there didn't I" Jacqui grinned, "Don't worry, me and John-Paul had a word last night, come on in, he's in his room" she said motioning Craig to the stairs, and he began to turn to go up them, when Jacqui stopped him, "If you hurt him, and I mean in anyway, physical or mentally, you'll me to deal with, understand" she said blatantly, "don't worry, I won't let you down, I promise" Craig smiled, Jacqui smiled back, "well go on then" Jacqui laughed, and to that Craig made his way up the stairs.

Craig approached John-Paul's bedroom, it had been 3 months since he had been in the McQueen's house, let alone his best mates' bedroom. And here he was, standing in his door way, but he saw something that he didn't bargain on seeing, a half naked John-Paul McQueen, this made Craig feel…well…not uncomfortable, but not comfortable, so he decided to knock on the door lightly instead, this seemed to get his attention.

"Alright mate, so it was you at the door?" John-Paul smiled getting up from the laid down position he was in from his work out, "yeah your Jacqui let me in and up" Craig smiled, he noticed the movie poster hanging behind John Paul's bed, "Ah new poster I see, not bad" Craig grinned, trying to be enthusiastic, "yeah right, it was one of Mercedes and Carmel's genius ideas, they think just because I'm gay I gonna like Broke Back Mountain! I had to put it up to humour them!" John-Paul laughed loudly as he went to sit on his bed, Craig leaned on John-Paul's desk, "So you goin' out tonight at all?" Craig said trying to change the subject, "Yeah I've got a date with Jesse Metcalfe" John-Paul laughed, Craig obviously didn't the blunt joke, "Nevermind, why you ask?" JP pushed. "Well it's just there's this DJ thing going on at the pub, and it's kind of a competition, no prizes though, Darren just wants to show Spike's supposed talents I think" Craig laughed lightly, as he knew John-Paul was seeing someone called Spike, could it be the same person?

"Ah Spike…he's a nice guy, everything was going alright till Hannah came and shoved her big nose in everything and ruined everything" John-Paul said quietly, "Ruined everything? What do you mean mate?" Craig asked, wanting John-Paul to carry on. "He…dumped me, because of Hannah, I just don't think he could handle it and left, not heard a peep from him since the other night" John-Paul glumly replied, "Well if he likes you, I'm sure he'll come round mate" Craig said trying to cheer John Paul up. "Yeah I know, but anyway, I'll do this DJ thing then if you'll come with?" John-Paul smiled, and Craig smiled in return, "Course, wouldn't miss it for the world, now I see you've had an increase of games so I think we should catch up on the playstation don't you think" Craig said cheerfully, motioning over to the television in the corner. "You're never gonna beat me you know that," John-Paul smiled, his mood lifting, "Well I'll humour you won't I" Craig winked.

A good few hours later, Craig, Sarah and Hannah were all sat in The Dog, in good view of the DJ Decks, and of Spike, John-Paul had to run back home to pick up a few more vinyl's he'd forgotten. Hannah wasn't looking very impressed; she kept throwing dirty looks over to Spike, which didn't go un-noticed by him, he decided to shrug them off, and put it down to her being a very protective friend, but there was something more there…what was it?

The music played and Spike was doing his 'thing', "Oh he's really good isn't he!" Sarah said happily, "Sarah!!" Hannah and Craig shouted, "we're here to support our John-Paul remember!" Hannah said looking and feeling very disappointed. Spike noticed the girls shouting and made his way over, he may as well make himself known, and be nice and say hello, "Alright…Hannah, John-Paul not with you?" Spike asked politely, "does it look like it? Can you see him?" Hannah said sarcastically, "Well I thought you two were joined at the hip or something if the other nights anything to go by!" Spike retorted. "Hey it's not his fault she gate crashed your first date with John-Paul, I think you should give it another go, ask John-Paul out again, he really likes you" Sarah chirped in trying to encourage Spike, "Sarah!" Hannah chipped in now, looking quite annoyed, "And this is your business how Sarah?! Stay out of it!" Spike spat back walking away back to the decks, "You see, see what he's like, I don't know what John-Paul see's in him" Hannah said looking pleased that he'd walked away. "Well John-Paul likes him, and speak of the devil here he is" Sarah grinned pointing to the door where a familiar figure walked in.

John-Paul walked into The Dog, he immediately noticed Spike over at the decks and threw a smile over at him, and Spike quickly glanced back. "Alright guys, sorry I couldn't find a few of my tracks, think our Michaela's been snooping around again" John-Paul laughed sitting down at the seat next to Hannah, "Well you're here now, and you know what…" Craig said happily, John-Paul looked suspiciously over to him, with a glimmer of humour, "What?". "It's your turn to get the drinks in!" Craig grinned cheekily.

"How did I know you were gonna say that?!" John-Paul giggled getting up and making his way over to the bar, Craig joined him, "listen mate, thanks you know, for us making up, it means a lot" Craig smiled softly, "It's alright, glad things are better between us, back to normal eh? Now what you drinking?" John-Paul grinned in his usual way, he was glad to have his best mate back, but his heart was beginning to melt, "I shouldn't be letting these feelings out again!" John-Paul said to himself. Craig was thinking the same, well not the same, but he was thinking, "He's looking quite nice tonight, what? What are you thinking Craig? You mean he looks quite smart? … um … yeah!" Craig thought, battling emotions inside his head.

Some time later, Spike was impressing the crowd with his set, the crowd was really liking his style, and this was something that John-Paul had to beat, no pressure…surely.

Spike's set came to an end, and he got an almighty cheer, now it was John-Paul's turn to show off his talents on the decks, he went up to Spike, Hannah had pecked him on the cheek and had planted an obvious lipstick mark, "You've got a better entourage that J-Lo you know that" Spike said smiling at John-Paul, "Ah you see its my loyal fans, they're very loyal" John-Paul laughed looking at Spike, "Wow he's looking really nice tonight, why did Hannah have to go and blow it for me" he thought to himself, Spike noticed the lipstick mark on John-Paul's cheek and went to wipe it gently, to which John-Paul flinched, he wasn't used to being 'touched' and didn't know what Spike was doing, "It's alright, it's lipstick" Spike laughed. John-Paul simply smiled, unsure of what to say, and to avoid more embarrassment. "Right, well I'll be off, I really don't want to be accused of putting the best DJ in the house off do I?" Spike said, touching John-Paul's hand lightly, he could feel himself going bright red inside, which Spike seemed to see, and gave him a wink, and went to the bar to leave John-Paul to his set…

**Chapter 4-B**

John-Paul's DJ set had gone extremely well, so much so, he was dying for the toilet, and he couldn't wait much longer, so he brought his set to an end, much to the crowds disapproval, they really liked the McQueen set, his loyal fans had become even more devoted. Spike's heart had melted at seeing John-Paul doing the exact same thing he loved to do. And to this, Spike regretted leaving John-Paul a few nights prior.

John-Paul was coming out of the toilet, his head full of thoughts, his DJ set, Spike, and dare he think of it…Craig! How ever he bumped not into the later but his second thought…Spike. "Oh Spike! Hi" John-Paul said quietly feeling embarrassed. "Um…there's this thing tomorrow night…going on at the loft…might check it out" John-Paul continued, Spike looked on, knowing where John-Paul was going with this, but the fact that John-Paul didn't have the courage to actually ask him. "Well…good luck with that then" Spike said feeling disappointed, "Look I gotta go…" John-Paul replied, heading for the door, "Running back to Hannah are you?" Spike said, putting his arm up to stop John-Paul walking past, "What? No! We're just…just mates" John-Paul said feeling uncomfortable, he'd have to tell someone soon that he and Hannah we're ex's.

"You see…I've got this thing for DJ's…" Spike said looking into John-Paul eyes softly. "Well you must love yourself then eh" John-Paul replied with a light laugh, "Blond, blue eyed DJ's, you see there's this one DJ I can't stop thinking about, and I want to kiss him" Spike said, not moving his gaze from John-Paul, and placing his hands on John-Paul's shoulders, "But I don't know, I don't think he'll let me" he finished. John-Paul gulped, it was now or never, he had to take the plunge, "He will…" John-Paul almost whispered out. Spike moved up close to John-Paul, and snaked his hand up John-Paul's arm, cupping the side of his face, and kissing him softly, to which John-Paul reciprocated, and returned, "Wow, this is … no words can describe it" he thought. The stood there for a few moments, locked in a light embrace, when Spike pulled away slowly, "Don't think we should stay here, don't want anyone walking in and getting a shock now" Spike laughed, John-Paul nodded, "yeah…um…you want to get some air?" John-Paul said, wanting to get some fresh air himself.

John-Paul and Spike sneaked out of the toilets at the end of the bar, they only just avoided Hannah who was at the bar getting drinks for the group, "Did I just see? …nah" Hannah thought, thinking she'd seen Spike with someone. John-Paul ran out of the pub holding Spike's hand as not to lose him in the crowd, and they emerged out of the front of the pub laughing and giggling hysterically, "I think they didn't see us! Did you see the look on Hannah's face, she must think I've picked some stranger up!" Spike said laughing, walking with John-Paul over to the bridge, "Ah well, I can be your stranger can't I" John-Paul grinned, feeling quite adrenaline filled from the little encounter.

Spike and John-Paul had been outside for about fifteen minutes, talking about everything, and anything, they got onto the subject of fighting between the artists, Madonna and Pink, "Have you seen Madonna up close?" Spike said laughing, "No, why would I want too" John-Paul giggled, "The woman's pure muscle!" Spike said grinning, "Yeah but she's old and she's had kids, plus Pink would beat her to a pulp" John-Paul replied trying to beat Spike at the little game they were playing, "Yeah but what about your sisters? Would they beat Madonna?" Spike said encouraging John-Paul on, "Have you met my sisters? You wouldn't want to get on the wrong side of them!" John-Paul said giggling, "Is that an invitation then?" Spike laughed pulling a face, "More of a threat really," John-Paul carried on laughing, looking at Spike, "wow, he looks…wow" he thought, "But seriously, my sister's would kick Madonna's…" John-Paul was stopped in mid-sentence as Spike moved in on him, planting a massive kiss on his soft supple lips, Spike had enjoyed kissing him so much out side the toilets, he couldn't wait any longer.

Craig, Hannah and Sarah came out of The Dog, feeling slightly disappointed that John-Paul had lost to Spike, they hadn't bargained to what they'd come out too. John-Paul and Spike locked in a passionate kiss over on the decking bridge, Hannah locked on in shock, she couldn't bear to see this, it tore her up, and ran back in side the pub, Sarah followed her. Craig just stood there on the spot, locked, he couldn't move, "How could he do this? What is he doing?" Craig thought. "I can't see this right now!" he said to himself, and he ran back inside, and slammed the door behind him, this didn't go unnoticed by the two boys who stopped their kiss to look over at the slammed, "What was that?" Spike said feeling a little shocked, and being disturbed from his first proper kiss with his…boyfriend. "I don't know…you want to come back to mine for a drink? We'll run past my sisters" John-Paul said softly, still holding onto Spike, he had a feeling who it was that slammed the door, why had he acted like that? John-Paul thought, no use thinking, "Maybe it's nothing, it couldn't have been him could it?". John-Paul and Spike walked slowly away from the pub, John-Paul threw a glance back at the pub, and saw someone in the top window, "Is that…Craig?" he thought, he smiled up, and Craig held his hand up looking disappointed but John-Paul couldn't see his expression, so John-Paul held his hand up and waved. John-Paul and Spike walked slowly back to the McQueen's house, even if it was just as mates and nothing more…at the minute.

Chapter 5

"Hey quiet, we don't want to wake up the ugly sisters now do we!?" John-Paul whispered with a giggle, he was pulling Spike through the front door of the McQueen house, which had made quite a bang when they crashed through it. "Oops, sorry, guess I'll have to make up for my bad behaviour won't I?" Spike replied seductively kissing John-Paul softly.

Both boys made their way upstairs to John-Paul's room, silently making their way through the corridor and into his room. "So is this the intention you had with me when you walked through those pub doors this evening?" John-Paul said quietly making his way over to his CD Player and putting some music on, as to create a gentle yet tense atmosphere, "I had no idea, but I'm really liking these intentions you know" Spike said, making his way behind John-Paul, and spinning him round as to face him, wrapping his arms round his waist and gently kissing him. John-Paul slowly forced Spike backwards, in the direction of his bed, and allowing themselves to fall lightly. Spike on the bottom, and John-Paul on top of him. Spike took the first step, removing John-Paul's top, button by button, and slipping it off him, John-Paul did the same, unzipping Spike's bomber jacket, and then lifting his hooded jacket over him. Things became pretty heated, and before they knew it, both boys were down to their boxers. "John-Paul McQueen, you are in the night of your life," Spike said with a sexy glint in his eyes, before making his way down to John-Paul's lower half…

Over at The Dog, Craig was settling down in his own bed, he'd ordered Sarah home, after what he'd witnessed with John-Paul and Spike only an hour or so earlier, he didn't have the strength, mentally and psychically to 'please' Sarah Barnes. No that he didn't want to, his mind was elsewhere, on something else, or rather someone else. "Why do you make me feel like this John-Paul McQueen? Why do you over power my emotions? Why isn't Sarah like you?" he thought silently, laughing at his latter thought, "Easy, Sarah isn't YOU, you're unique, and what the HELL am I thinking?!" he thought sharply, ripping himself from what he thought 'disgusting' thoughts, only to be replaced immediately by John-Paul once more, "You've taken over my head" Craig laughed. "I wonder what he's doing now" Craig huffed, "Probably 'doing' Spike" he shuddered at this thought, "Spike…just get lost will you, why did you have to come along and 'take' him away from me" Craig sunk lower into his thoughts, sinking lower into his bed, falling into light dreams, dreaming…dreaming of a certain young man…

Chapter 6 – The Morning after the Night before…

Spike slept soundly besides a wide awake John-Paul, Spike was sleeping contently, having found love inside someone he only thought a dream back at the Wedding Reception of his 'boyfriends' sisters wedding. John-Paul meanwhile, he was in a similar position, he was so proud of the person lying next to him, in HIS bedroom, in HIS bed, beneath HIS duvet covers. Spike had been the one person that had made him happy, after all the months of turmoil and fights, and battling with his emotions, and people. Spike had appeared and lifted him from the pits of despair.

"Morning you" John-Paul said to a groggy Spike as he opened is eyes, Spike smiled, "Morning, I could get used to this, first class service" Spike grinned, "Service with a smile…god you make me sound like a male prostitute" John-Paul playfully hit Spike on the chest. "I'm only joking you know that, this is amazing though John-Paul, I could lay here all day…would you lie with me?" Spike said resorting into song for his latter part, "Oh taking lyrics from songs now are you? Well I would, and will do then" John-Paul grinned ecstatically.

"Breakfast is up!" Myra bellowed from downstairs, something to which startled John-Paul, if only slightly. "Guess that's our cue to make an early morning appearance" Spike laughed, propping himself up, and then lifting himself from the bed, "Oh I haven't told anyone about us, they don't even know you're here" John-Paul said looking panic stricken, and worried as to what his potential boyfriend might say. "Perfect opportunity to introduce me them then, or shall we try and sneak me out, I hear your mum and sisters see's and hears everything, one way or another," Spike grinned from cheek to cheek, trying to settle the mood, "Alright then, but I'm sorry in advance if they embarrass you ok" John-Paul laughed nervously.

"Ah John-Paul, alas you emerge from your pit, breakfast is up lo…" Myra gleefully said as she heard and saw John-Paul bomb down the stairs, but stopped as she saw he had a guest following him, "and who would this be then son?" Myra grinned, looking pleased, "This is Spike…my…um…my friend" John-Paul mustered out, unbeknown to him, that Spike had a look of hurt when he referred to him as his 'friend', but then again he understood John-Paul's situation. "Well anyway, there's enough for everyone, would you like breakfast Spike love?" Myra asked, immediately accepting Spike, "Oh yes please, that would be lo…" Spike was cut short by a shrieking female voice.

"Mum, we seriously need a bigger-er bathroom! Merci's taking ages! Mum…mu…" Carmel shrieked, as she came into the kitchen, but stopped on seeing John-Paul and his new 'friend' sat at the kitchen table, "Ohh John-Paul who's this?!" Carmel gleefully shouted, "This is John-Paul's new FRIEND Car'!" Myra quickly answered, a bit too enthusiastically, "Yeah, so be nice Carmel" John-Paul laughed, followed by a small laugh from Spike himself.

It had been about fifteen minutes and Carmel and Myra were hurling questions and 'coo-ing' over Spike, they were like little school girls with brand new toys, intent on ripping it to shreds before craving more. John-Paul was becoming increasingly embarrassed and was feeling deathly sorry for Spike to have to endure his mother and the most annoying but heart in the right place sister ever. Spike sensing this thought it best to say something, "Well I think I best be making a move, think your John-Paul needs another hour in bed!" Spike said with a laugh, "I'll give you a text or a ring later mate" John-Paul simply smiled as Spike planted a soft kiss on John-Paul's lips, much to Myra and Carmel's delight to which they responded with yet more 'Aww's and Coo's'. Spike got up to leave, and headed to the door, John-Paul rooted to the spot. "So John-Paul is he just a mate? Or his John-Paul's one and only eh?" Myra said, pressing the issue that she wanted answered so badly.

"Um…" John-Paul thought it best to tell the truth and what he wanted to happen, Spike was making his way, slowly over to the front door, wanting to hear John-Paul say those few words. "Well he's…um…yeah he's my boyfriend, happy?!" John-Paul grinned, Spike popped his head round the doorway of the kitchen, making John-Paul jump "I certainly am! Does that count?" "It does, you're officially John-Paul McQueen's boyfriend type thing, can you handle that?" Carmel grinned madly, clearly excited at John-Paul's happiness. "I can" Spike simply said, those two words meaning more than others could.

Over on the other side of the village, sat one young guy, alone on the bench outside The Dog in the Pond. His thoughts racing a thousand or more times a second, the thoughts and 'serious' thoughts had rapidly started eating away at him, and now the one person he wanted or thought he wanted was taken away by someone else, the someone else, whom Craig Dean wanted to be, and wished he could be in his shoes, he wanted to be there with John-Paul, stroking his hair in bed, caressing his chest lightly, he wanted to gaze into those beautiful deep blue eyes of his, and get lost in them. "Time for a brave, bold move," Craig thought to himself, and then said aloud, as to clarify his thoughts. He used his momentum to bring himself up to stand; breathing in deeply.

Craig Dean made his way across the bridge, the time was now...

Chapter 7A – Bombshell's, are a many…

"Can I come in?" Craig said softly, he had gone over this scenario many a time in his head, the previous night, even days and weeks gone by. His heart wasn't in this anymore, it had to happen, but sooner rather than later, though people would still get hurt, doing this now would cut the blow by half. "Sure Craig, come on in, you want a drink?" Sarah answered, gesturing Craig to come into the flat. "Um…no thanks, everyone out?" he asked nervously, he didn't want to create a scene, he wanted this over with as soon as possible, and be out of there like a shot. "Yeah, mum's out with Leah, dad's working, and well god knows where Amy is, probably with Josh Ashworth somewhere, god forbid" Sarah said laughing at herself for the latter remark. "Anyway, why didn't you text me to say you were coming round?". "I'm here for a reason Sarah…" Craig began softly, he wasn't going to chicken out, "Oh you were gonna surprise me weren't you and have your wicked way with me?!" Sarah said, with glee, and assuming to know the answer.

"No! God No!" Craig said a little too quickly, to which this confused Sarah immensely, "What do you mean by that?" her face grew concerned, she was sick to be honest, sick of Craig Dean's constant mood swings, she wasn't going to fight with him, she didn't have to, he launched himself into space, quite literally. "We're over Sarah, I'm done" Craig simply said, "We're over, I'm not the same person anymore, I don't feel the same for you as I did not so long ago, I'm sorry. I'm not going to lead you on, We're finished" Craig stood there, waiting for Sarah's response. Nothing came, not one word, both stood there for what felt like an eternity, both trying to grasp what was said…

Chapter 7B – bombshells are a many more…

"What?" came Sarah's response, almost silent in nature, it was a shock to the system to say the least, Sarah hadn't counted on Craig saying what he did, and now standing here she was gob smacked, shocked to the bone. "You heard me" Craig's immediate response came, cold and sharp, why it had came out so cold was a mystery to him. Maybe it was the fact that Sarah was holding him back, holding him back from who he really was. "Why? Craig Why?" Sarah could hardly get her words out, "I'm…I'm not in love with you Sarah, I haven't been for a while, I tried to make myself, but dam-mitt I can't, I just can't love you for you. For all the time I try, I just can't commit myself to you." Craig's words were once again cold, but struck to the point of no return.

"You…you disgust me, the way you are, the way you flaunt yourself, the way you act, you…you've made my skin crawl. I've seen the way you look at him, at that one person who can have you when ever he wants. You know who I'm talking about right?" Craig jumped the gun, he had it all planned in his head, but his mind was in overdrive, before he knew it was on the subject of Rhys Ashworth. Sarah simply nodded; the stolen looks at Rhys from Sarah hadn't gone unnoticed by Craig in the weeks gone by. For all she tried, she couldn't help but not look at him, what she saw in him was anyone's guess, Craig thought, but he's got to be better than me in any case. "Craig…what's brought this on? Why are you breaking up with me now? Why now? Why not weeks or days ago?" Sarah asked her barrage of questions, ones to which Craig just looked to the ground, to the floor, as if searching for his answers,

"Because…it's now that this must be done, I've realised what I'm missing, and what I need, and I'm sorry Sarah…they can't include you" Craig's words once again piercing like a knife through the heart, but his words once again plain as day. "I'm sorry Craig…but…" Sarah started off calm, but now, for some reason, her temper became 'flared' "Get out Craig…Get Out!" Sarah's sudden change in mood shocked Craig, but he understood why, if he was her, he would of smacked himself one. "Don't even think of coming back Craig Dean!" Sarah ordered and pushed Craig into the hallway, and out of the front door, Craig didn't try to fight or restrain himself, he let Sarah push him out. "I hate you Craig Dean!" and to that Sarah slammed the door on him, Craig simply sighed, and a small solitary smile spread across his lips, Sarah was free from him, and more so, Craig was free, to do as he pleased, without hurting anyone else. For the time being anyway.

"Time to make my way over to someone else, I'm not going to break their heart, that I will promise myself" Craig said to himself walking down the steps and out into the village. But aren't promises made to be broken?...

Chapter 7C – The Back Flash Bombshell…

John Paul was sat in the McQueen's kitchen, still hugging his cup of coffee he'd made thirty minutes earlier. Spike had made his haste and sped on his way, something told John-Paul that Spike didn't want to stick around for the minute, maybe it was him, or maybe it could have been the agonising interrogation from his sisters and his mum, wanting to know all about the 'world of Spike'.

Jacqui came into the kitchen and noticed John-Paul perhaps looking a little worried and lost in deep thought, he didn't notice her sit next to him, lost in deep thought, he thought back to the previous night, where he and Spike had kissed outside The Dog in the Pond, where he waved to a worried Craig Dean from his window, and where Spike had John-Paul in the sack.

Flash Back

John-Paul and Spike, bashed through John-Paul's bedroom door, "So is the intention you had with me when you walked through those pub doors this evening is it?" John-Paul asked quietly, whilst throwing a CD on his hi-fi, "Some music to settle the atmosphere" he thought to himself, "I think tonight may well be the night, for…yeah just stop thinking about it John-Paul". "I had no idea, but I'm really liking these intentions you know" Spike said seductively making his way up behind John-Paul, "Wow, he looks just as good from behind as always, bet his 'real' front does him justice" Spike thought to himself this time, feeling a sense of smugness coming across himself.

Both boys by this time were on the bed, down to their boxers, John-Paul was feeling particularly nervous, Spike however found this the perfect opportunity to broaden his and John-Paul's horizons. "John-Paul McQueen, you are in for the night of your life" Spike said seductively with a sexual glint in his eyes, and made his way down to John-Paul's lower half…

"Spike I'm…um…I've…I've not done this before you know…" John-Paul said looking down to Spike who was preparing to go down on him, "Really? Oh sorry, silly question" Spike said, correcting himself, and bringing himself back up to John-Paul, and lying beside him. "Well don't worry, we'll take things slow" Spike smiled reassuring John-Paul, but his mind thinking different, "Great…I'm going to have to show him everything, maybe it'll be good…maybe" he thought. "Thanks, you know" John-Paul simply said, "Say no more, let's begin" Spike laughed lightly.

It had been a while, and through John-Paul's resistance, he had backed down, and they were on their to going 'full whack', but John-Paul could feel himself…well…climaxing, "Spike, this is it, sorry, I'm going to you know, quite soon!" John-Paul whispered through sexual gasps. Things became quite heated, though this time, not like the mad heated, but heated heated, and John-Paul could feel himself going for it, "ooooh…Cra…" John-Paul quickly corrected himself, was he really going to shout THAT persons name out while with his boyfriend, no he couldn't, what would Spike think, "Ooooh…Crai….Cri…Chri-s-t!" Spike didn't faultier at John-Paul's mishap, too busy looking down at the mess that was created, "Feel better babe?" Spike said stroking John-Paul's head with his free hand, "Um…yeah…much" John-Paul simply smiled…

End Flash Back

"God you alright there John-Paul, you've gone beat-red!" Jacqui laughed, knocking John-Paul from his day dream and back into reality, "Yeah…it's no one" he quickly said, realising he'd answered the wrong question, "What? I asked if you were alright you numpty!" Jacqui giggled, "Oh, right…yeah I'm fi-fine" John-Paul simply smiled at his sister, "God, what was I thinking!?" John-Paul thought, and took a big swig from his now stone cold coffee….

Over in the village outside of Drive n' Buy, Craig was preparing to make a move, "Right I'll head home and pick up some notes, and we could do some revision together, needs to be done right?" he thought to himself, and made his way back to The Dog in the Pond…

Chapter 8 – Brothers Speaking Out!

Craig made his way back to The Dog in the Pond, no-one was really about on this day, after all it was only 10:30am, and a Sunday as well, so it came to no surprise that the village was pretty deserted.

Having broken up with Sarah Barnes, Craig felt like a new person, free from certain responsibilities, and acts that he had to fulfil. He now had to put up with remarks from other people as to why he had actually broken up with her, some would put it down to 'he wasn't a proper man' and he could well be 'a proper poof to that John-Paul'. Craig put these thoughts to the back of his mind, he just wanted to get his revision folders from his room and get round to John-Paul's for some 'alone time'.

He walked through the front door of the pub; Frankie and Jack were setting the bar up for another fun filled day of drunken punters. So naturally Craig was able to sneak pass his parents and make a quick run for the stairs and into the flat, but then again, he couldn't escape a certain person, Darren Osbourne, Craig's step-brother, who always had his fill of humour at Craig's expense.

"Been round to see Mr McQueer Craigy!" Darren sniggered as Craig walked into the kitchen, Craig wanted to ignore him, but his usual self made a hasty decision, "That records getting old, don't see you getting yourself out there, and it's McQueen if you must say his name! and No, I've been round to Sarah's…" Craig trailed off, his smile and sense of freedom vanished, "Oh, it's a bit early to be seeing your missus isn't it, trying to smoke the wagon are you" Darren laughed to himself, at the complete rubbish and stuff he was saying that made no sense to anyone except to him. "Um…no…I, well I broke up with her" Craig said quietly, the next thing to come out of Darren's mouth would give Craig a shock at least!

"What? Really? Why mate?" Darren said generously, "What, you're actually interested in my life! Don't take the mickey Darren!" Craig replied looking serious, "I'm not! And I am being serious, why have you broken up with Sarah" Darren asked, motioning for them to sit down.

"Things changed, I changed…" Craig began, Darren looked on concerned, "I told her I'd had enough, my heart wasn't and isn't in the relationship anymore Darren, I told her a few home truths…" Craig continued, "Then she flipped, I told her there was someone else, but even I'm not sure who this someone else is! She threw me out before I had a chance to explain, but you know what" Craig asked, "What's that?" Darren replied quietly, "I wish I could of told her, but I knew she would properly lose her rag anyway," Craig chuckled.

"So…who's the other girl you fancy then?" Darren asked cautiously, "Don't say I told you so please! It…isn't…" Craig took a deep breathe, "It isn't a … girl Darren, it's…" Darren cut him off, "your best mate? Let me guess" Darren said softly, Craig simply nodded, sighing, he'd basically just come out to his step-brother, yet Craig felt bad, he hoped that the rest of his family would be as understand as Darren was so far. "Yeah it is, god you were right all along eh?" Craig chuckled nervously, "Well I'm not going to say I told you so, but you remember my words? There's no smoke with out fire? Craig…" Darren now began his little speech, "To me, it's been pretty obvious you've got a thing for the little McQueen boy, you know between the time you two weren't speaking, you were like…um…what is the right word? … a shell of your former self, I know a strange word for me to use, but you were almost kind of 'pining' after the poor boy! Don't worry, you wasn't obvious, I just see pass everything" Darren now grinned, and Craig chuckled, "You see what I'm trying to say is, I don't mind what you like, cck or frock, I don't give a tuppunce! Your still the same old annoying brother to me" Darren continued, "Just do me one thing will you?" Darren asked Craig, he simply nodded, "Don't tell anyone I've been nice to you, I've got a reputation to uphold you know! And don't worry, I won't breathe a word either about your 'secret' ok" "Deal" Craig smiled confidently, "Now I think you should go and talk to John-Paul don't you?" Darren asked, moving on, "yeah…going to go get some revision stuff to take round" Craig said, motioning towards his room, "Ahh…revision aids! Just be subtle yeah, I hear he still has a thing for you, but try and get rid of Spikey first" Darren laughed. Craig got up and made for his room, but turned round, "Thanks Darren" Craig smiled, "Anytime mate" Darren simply said.

Craig shuffled together a few folders, he had no idea what he'd grabbed, just a load of folders from his desk, "Something to study with right?" He said to himself. And made his way back to the living room where Darren was watching TV, "Jesus Craig, you got enough there!" Darren sniggered, "Back to your usual self then I see!" Craig laughed, "See you later, and thanks again mate" Darren simply smiled, and waved his hand as to shoo Craig away.

Over at the McQueen's house, John-Paul was finally getting himself sorted with getting dressed, when the door bell went, the occupier outside insistent on someone answering the door quickly, "Alright! I'm coming I'm coming!!" John-Paul mumbled, and he opened the door, "Hey John-Paul! Long time no see, thought we'd pop over before we went into town, I hear you've got yourself a fella!" the girl said sweetly, "God, come in come in! See you've brought the other two with you too!" John-Paul chuckled, "My three favourite cousins, what do I owe the delight in your company then Sarah Helen, Aaron, and Curtis?!" John-Paul laughed, "Like we said, just a quick visit before we head into town!" Curtis said quietly, "yeah and we heard from Aunty Myra that you've come out, and we came for the gossip basically" Aaron said innocently, John-Paul turned to the kitchen to scowl at his mum, where she was just whistling innocently. "You three are so subtle as always" John-Paul scoffed with humour.

The spoke for about half hour when once again, the door bell went, this time a dark haired boy was the door bell presser, John-Paul answered, getting up from his seat with his cousins who were firing questions at him about his relationship and sexuality, he opened the door, "Alright Mate! Thought I'd come round for some revision if you're up for it" Craig grinned holding up his folders. "Um…sure mate, come in, Oh…" John-Paul said letting Craig in and introducing his three cousins, "This is Sarah, Aaron and Curtis," John-Paul smiled, Craig simply said "hello" warmly to them, "Wow he's hot!" Sarah whispered to both boys, "Um…well we'll leave you two to be alone!" she said cheekily in her usual way, "Right well, nice to see you again, and come round again soon for a PROPER visit, how I hate these flying visits" John-Paul laughed. They made their goodbyes, and left, leaving John-Paul and Craig to their own devices, "Wanna go upstairs mate?" John-Paul asked Craig, while closing the front door, Craig's mind was shouting "O god yes! Take me now! Take me now dammit!" but he simply said, "sure" whilst trying to build up his confidence to tell his best mate how he felt, Craig was sure it was going to be a bumpy ride, but it would be worth it in the end, so he hoped!...

Chapter 9 – Lovers in Arms…Words Unspoken…

"I'm here…I'm here again, can I do this? What if he reacts badly, what if it all goes horribly wrong, what if…oh enough with the 'what if's' Craig!" Craig thought to himself, he was sat on John-Paul's bed, while the boy in question was downstairs preparing some food and drinks for the pair, "yeah not as if we'll be needing the food…" Craig laughed to himself. "Right, need to study…got to stop thinking of him…It's not working!" for the tenth time in the space of half an hour Craig threw a scrunched up piece of paper in the bin.

John-Paul was in the McQueen's kitchen making a sandwich for him and Craig, "Well this days turning out to be quite an eventful one," John-Paul laughed to himself, "let's hope it don't go horribly wrong, still plenty of hours to go". Just as he finished this thought, John-Paul heard a buzz, it was his mobile phone, buzz it went once again, it was a text message, "Ah Spike…couldn't resist texting me" the normally shy teen thought.

Hey JP. Thanks 4 Last Night, Had A Great Time. I'll Be Back Round Later, Wanna Ask You Something, It's Good so Don't Worry. Have A Good Day, Say Hey To Craig for me. Love Spike xXx

John-Paul smiled, "wait a minute, how did he know Craig would be here?" he thought quizzically, "Well saying that he is always here, he practically lives here" John-Paul laughed making his way back over to the counter and picked up the tray of sandwiches and drinks and proceeded upstairs.

"Right I've got ham sandwiches and beef ones, that's all there was I'm afraid, but I know Beef's your favourite, and a couple of bottles of beer that I swiped from Jac's stash" John-Paul said stumbling through his bedroom door, speaking to Craig, "Thanks mate, can't think straight, never going to get to stupid essay done and look at all this revision, it's so messed up!" Craig said throwing his arms up in the air, and bringing them down and placing his head in his hands. "Craig…mate…are you alright, you look a bit well nervous and anxious" John-Paul questioned, placing the tray of food on his desk and sitting down next to Craig. "Oh no! He knows something is up, sht what am I going to do" Craig thought, but panicked and snapped, "What?! Nothing!!".

John-Paul looked at him, taken a back with his snapping, "Oi, no need for that, what's wrong mate? Had a falling out with Sarah?" John-Paul said softly. "I'm…sorry, I didn't mean too…" Craig began, "I'm so messed up inside here John-Paul" Craig said pointing to his head, "Well it's understandable mate, I mean exams are quite daunting, everyone feels the same about them" John-Paul reasoned. "I'm not talking about exams JP, I'm talking about…" Craig paused, was he doing the right thing? Only one way to find out, Craig looked at his best mates face, he looked so pure and innocent and had no idea what Craig was battling with inside his head, truth be told, all he wanted to do was break down and cry into John-Paul's arms. But if he did do that, god knows how John-Paul would act. "I'm talking about…me, John-Paul, I'm messed up and can't concentrate on anything anymore, Darren knows, and god helps me if anyone else finds out!" Craig said softly, all the time looking towards the ground, hoping it would open up and swallow him whole.

"Craig…I don't understand, what's wrong?" John-Paul asked looking as confused as he was feeling; having no idea what Craig was going on about. "Me…John-Paul…how the hell do I explain it, when I don't know HOW to explain it," Craig said, close to tears, "Just…well…start from the beginning or just blurt out what you feel or something" John-Paul tried to reason. "Your gonna blow your top though, after all these months, and now I'm going to say the one thing that you've wanted me to say for god knows how long, I don't want to see how you'll react!" Craig pleaded, thinking "Have I said too much?" he was now in tears, "I didn't want to feel like this, but I can't help it, it's just me, and god it's scaring the hell out of me John-Paul! I've split up with Sarah! And it's all because of how I feel!" Craig cried out, John-Paul looked on in shock, wanting to take Craig in his arms at the sight he saw before him, wanting to tell him that it'll all be alright, and that he'll be there for him, no matter what the consequences may come too. "You've broken up with Sarah? Why Craig?" John-Paul asked softly, but wanting to seep more information out a broken Craig. "Because, of everything, all I think about whenever I'm with her, whenever I think of her, all I want her to be, they all lead to one person in the end, Sarah turns into someone else in my head, and" Craig looked up to face his friend, "It's you…all I think about every minute of the day since January, it's been you, and now you've got someone" Craig gave a slight laugh at the humour and played back the scene, "When I'm not with you I think about you all the time, and when I am with you, it feel's like my hearts going to burst, because it's true John-Paul, god I'm so jealous of Spike, because I want to be the one that your laughing with, that your touching, that your kissing, that your going home with for Christ sakes!" Craig cried harder than ever before, John-Paul was just in complete shock at this statement from his friend, "I can't believe it, he remembered what I told him all that time back" John-Paul thought, inside feeling so happy, but on the outside, so distraught at what his friend is going through, and not being able to help him.

"John-Paul…" Craig looked John-Paul in the face, they looked eye to eye, "I'm not drunk, I'm as sober as can be, and my words speak the truth, back at the dance off I did mean what I said, I do love you, alcohol makes you reveal your true feelings, at least to me it does, and then they couldn't of been more clearer until now, I love you John-Paul, I love you. And I'm sorry, for everything, I am so sorry for everything I did to hurt you, and I need you to know that I love you" Craig looked at the ground once again, scared and worried of John-Paul's reaction, yet he said nothing, John-Paul simply said nothing, trying to process all of the information, it was simply an over load for him, for all the times John-Paul had wanted and waited for Craig to say this to him, he'd said it, he'd finally said those words John-Paul wanted so much but also feared with great respect. "Say something…please" Craig said quietly looking at his friend. Still nothing came from John-Paul. John-Paul stood up, without saying a word, he walked over to the window, and stared out of it blankly, "Is this a dream? Is this real?" John-Paul thought. Craig now stood up, mere meters away from his friend, he did not dare move.

The seconds were passing by, and John-Paul had not spoken a word, then he broke the silence, he turned round and stated softly. "Do you mean it?" Craig simply nodded to John-Paul's question. John-Paul then walked over to Craig, slipped his arms round Craig's waist, "There's no going back now Craig…" once again he simply nodded in agreement. Craig then instigated a long soft, and passionate kiss, they kissed softly, dampening their lips with soft caresses. Craig allowed John-Paul to enter his mouth by opening up a little where they explored each others mouths with love and tenderness, the broke away softly, "You don't know how long I've wanted to do that for believe me" Craig said softly, gently stroking the back of John-Paul's head, "Thank you…Craig…" John-Paul whispered, his dream had finally come true, was it to last though?

John-Paul went over to his door, Craig had no idea what he was doing, "What are you…?" Craig asked, then the door clicked shut and lock was latched to the socket, Craig caught on, "I don't want us to be disturbed is all" John-Paul said making his way back over to Craig and lowering him onto the bed, there they gently undid their shirts in the midst of kissing and fondling, the shirts removed, Craig went to undo John-Paul's buckle on his belt, and then his button, then his zipper, then slid them down, John-Paul did the same with Craig, before they knew it, they were under the duvet, completely naked, and began to explore each other…

A few hours later, the two boys laid in John-Paul's bed, John-Paul pushed up close to Craig with his arm round with him, gently sleeping away, and re-gathering their energy after their morning off sheer madness. Craig awoke first, for a moment he'd forgotten where he was, he didn't know what was happening, then it hit him, he remembered, and John-Paul had his arm round him, as to keep him safe. Craig was feeling just a confused now, "What's happening?" he thought, but he was rustled from his thoughts by his now-lover, "Craig…you awake…" John-Paul whispered, gently removing his arm from Craig, "Yeah…never better" Craig whispered back, John-Paul was not convinced though, "You…you don't regret what we did do you?" he asked softly sitting up, Craig now turned onto his back, he smiled, "No…I don't…I just need to gather my thoughts again, you let me release them, and now I want your help to put them back together" John-Paul nodded, "Sure, don't worry about a thing" "I need to go John-Paul" Craig said suddenly and jumped out of bed, searching for his clothes and underwear. "Craig…where?" he asked looking confused. "I just need to, I'll ring you later on?" Craig asked, but John-Paul was feeling broken, had Craig Dean rejected him once again… "Don't worry" Craig said with a determined tone, and gently went over to the bed and sat down on the edge and kissed John-Paul softly on the head. "Remember I love you" Craig smiled, "I know" John-Paul returned the gesture with a light kiss on the Craig's lips. And Craig left quickly, once again leaving John-Paul wondering what had gone on inside his mates head, or more to the point, his 'lovers' head…


End file.
